Anyone can be a victim of domestic violence at any point in their life. Domestic violence or intimate partner violence typically exhibits a pattern of behaviors used to gain power and control over a spouse, partner, girlfriend/boyfriend, or family member. Abuse and trauma in a violent relationship can happen on a broad scale and include physical, sexual, verbal, emotional abuse and isolation, intimidation, coercion, and manipulation. This abuse occurs in a cycle that becomes more frequent and dangerous over time. When an abuser has access to a firearm, uses drugs or alcohol, and the relationship escalates to the point of threats and assault, it's essential to make a plan to help keep yourself and your children safe.

Ending an abusive relationship cannot be compared to a typical break up because of the increased risk of violence. In the weeks after leaving their abuser, women are 70 times more likely to be killed than during any other time of their relationship. Making a personalized plan is an important step in leaving your situation and keeping yourself and your children safe from an abuser.

When Preparing to Leave

• Keep a journal of all violent incidents, including dates and threats made and any photos of any physical abuse
• Decide on a date and time to leave as well as how you will get to your safe place
  1. You may request a police escort or stand-by when you leave
• Pack a bag and leave it in a secure location with a friend or relative
  1. Make sure to include an extra set of keys, social security, birth certificates, passports, credit cards, and financial documents, car registration, housing documents, health insurance cards, and medications
  2. Don't forget valuables like jewelry as well as photographs and sentimental items
• Open a post office box and bank account in your name
• Request an unlisted/unpublished number from your new telephone company
• Write down important phone numbers and keep them with you along with a calling card or change
• Change pet registrations under your name and make arrangements for your pets to be cared for in a safe place

After Leaving 

• If you or your children have been threatened or assaulted, request a protective order and always keep it with you
• Make a habit of locking all doors and windows while at home. Identify one or more neighbors you can talk to that can support you and call the police if they hear a disturbance in your home
• Identify exits such as doors, windows, elevators, or stairs and practice getting out of your home safely
• Let family members, friends, neighbors, school staff, work supervisors, and security know about your situation
• Make sure school staff know who has permission to see or pick up your children
• Change your work hours and ask that someone screen your phone calls before you take them
• Always walk with someone to and from your car or when using public transportation

While this is information that has helped other victims, it's important that you trust your instincts and only use these tips if you feel safe and comfortable. No one deserves to be hurt, and everyone deserves to feel safe at home. The first step is deciding to do so. To talk to someone about creating a personalized safety plan visit, TheHotline.org/Help/Path-to-Safety

For more information about restraining or protective orders in the state of Arizona visit, WomensLaw.org/Laws/AZ